Dating profiles...uncensored and commented by yours truly

Ever scrolled through dating profiles? They can get real creepy, real fast. It seems like some of them strive for originality in all the wrong ways and others are just naturally lame. Either way, we’ve looked and laughed. Here are the best ones we’ve seen so far. 

Semi retired from training thoroughbred horses…I guess you never fully retire from that profession because you’re never actually working. Also, was it too difficult to add some type of punctuation? Or are you semi retired from that too?

Let’s get this straight. You’re on a dating site but you don’t want a sexual relationship, you’re unreliable and you sleep at your “best friend’s” house several times a week???

Well, good luck finding someone who won’t mind being your last minute call up when you need to talk because your best friend is busy. You sound like every woman’s dream man!

And why would you put an S to the word libido? Do you have many? And yet all of them are low? Maybe you should get rid of a few and work on getting just one good libido.

First of all, kudos to you for letting the chicken come first. Every egg should do that! It’s common sense. Second, although this profile had us laughing out loud, it doesn’t say much about you other than the fact that you’re a disappointment to your parents, you like dressing up and you’re into butt stuff. 

Don’t you have a house? Or are you some kind of mobile response unit? It’d better be a big car like a van or something cause I don’t bend that way anymore. And heated seats. Just forget it. It’s too complicated.

 Anyone who owns six chairs can’t be that broke. I have 4 chairs at my house and have been meaning to buy more but I can never afford them. Chairs are expensive. So we can’t be together. I don’t have enough chairs to spare.  

Wow! So many things wrong with this profile. But I have to admit that I agree with the last line. If you’re on a hook-up app, don’t expect to just be doing some talking. I wish this guy could slap some sense into the guy who spends all his time at his best friend’s house and wants to talk until 9pm.

Well, that was fun…and kind of depressing. Since we’ll probably see more crazy dating profiles in the future, lets make this a regular thing. Stay tuned for a future post on dating profiles, part 2.

Karine & Guik

😘💕